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Relationship Red Flags: Can You Spot Them?

Last updated on January 12, 2024

Congratulations: you and your new partner or “Boo” have found each other!

The start of a new relationship is often called The Honeymoon Phase. During this time, there are feelings of excitement and bliss, yearnings to see each other frequently and being carefree. But before we get too engrossed in our partners, let’s take time to review red flags — also known as unhealthy behaviors.

During the honeymoon phase, red flags may be missed. You may excuse your partners’ exhibition of unhealthy behaviors due to the excitement or even a “butterflies in my stomach” feeling. However, these butterflies could be a warning. Missed red flags during the honeymoon phase can lead to an abusive relationship.

Relationship Red Flags

According to Psychology Today, some examples of red flags include:

  • Lack of communication (arguing, silent treatment, depreciation)
  • Being irresponsible (exhibiting selfish behavior)
  • Lack of trust (asking for partner’s passwords, locations)
  • Partner not having support of significant family and friends
  • Controlling behavior (isolating partner from family and friends)
  • Secretive past or present (unwilling to share friendships)
  • Co-dependent behaviors
  • Abusive behavior (hitting, pinching, name calling, gas lighting, stealing).

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports that over 71% of women and over 55% of men first experience intimate partner violence (sexual or physical violence and/or stalking) under the age of 25. Let’s work together to reduce these percentages by recognizing red flags.

Red Flag Resources

Ready to discover more about healthy relationships?

Dallas College offers Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) for all currently enrolled 18-year-old and older Dallas College students. CAPS provides therapy to those in unhealthy and abusive relationships. CAPS also provides psychoeducation on recognizing red flags along with other stressors that may impact your life.

Title IX is available to students and staff who would like additional education, prevention strategies and to report sexual harassment.

CAASA, the College Alliance Against Sexual Assault, is an additional resource for employees and students that helps in the prevention and education of intimate partner violence and sexual abuse.

February 2024 Events

There are a few events at the college during February that are specifically focused on love, dating and relationships. These are excellent additional resources — whether you are single, dating or married.

Check these out:

  • Feb. 7 and 21 — Hot Topic: Healthy Relationships (El Centro Campus)
  • Feb. 13 — Real Love Relationship Talk (Mountain View Campus)
  • Feb. 14 — Hot Topic: Feeling Left Out on Valentine’s Day (El Centro Campus)
  • Feb. 15 — Finding Prince/Princess Charming (Richland Campus)

View all CAPS events in February.

February is national Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (#TDVAM).

This blog was written Cherrender Haynes, M.A., LPC, Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS).

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